Mesmerizing Green Eyes

Meet Benjamin! He is absolutely amazing! I like him ALOT!! You should hang out with him sometime!!

Frizzy Hair in Two Countries

How often do you get to stand in 2 countries at the same time?!?!?! Ahhh, I bet you could guess what two countries I am standing in, my 3-4 loyal readers, since

1. 1. You knew where I was over memorial day

2. You can use your context clues from the picture and what you already know to figure it out. (Get me out of teaching reading in summer school, PLEASE!)

3. My hair is out of control frizzy so I must be by water (okay and the fact that you can SEE water in the pic)

Okay so looking at the picture I have half my body in America and the other half in Canada (or what I like to say Kah-nan-uh-duh). I thought this was really cool because I had never done that before even though I have been to Niagra Falls several times. The sign read something to the effect of "hey, stand here and hold up the walking traffic by standing up the whole side walk and taking a pic on the bridge that leads to a new country!!" Yeah, as far as I can remember that's what it said with maybe adding in some of my own flare!!

It reminded me of last year sometime when Airjello talked about going to the place where four states meet. We were going to each stand in a corner and say "Hey, we are in four different states!!" That would be the highlight and we would thoroughly enjoy it!! That would be the whole reason for the road trip...that brief moment in time. (Can we still do that, sometime?!?!)

I don't know what my real point of sharing this pic. I don't have an inspiring thought of life, or God, or happiness with this pic. I,just for a moment, could act silly and really enjoy something that many wouldn't care two flips about. But it was my moment. I like when I get excited about something that someone else may see as ordinary. I like it even better when I can get someone else on board with excitement...to help me celebrate the small moment.

Today I needed a simply reminder that I am still me. I can enjoy the small moments even in the midst of dirty laundry that is currently being hand washed.

Can a teacher really learn from the TAKS test...

Even though you have signed an oath soooooooo many times that you won't mentally score it?!?!? Would that document really even hold up in court?!! Bunny trail from my original thought...

So I have vacationed with ten 5th graders who will be taking the Reading TAKS for the 3rd time this year. They don't pass- they don't move on to 6th grade. Yes, there are loopholes, but DUDE these kids feel defeated so they don't even try anymore.

Since I have had plenty of time to think today while watching them take a "mock TAKS test", I found myself getting frustrated as I looked around the room. Several of the students weren't doing ANY of the strategies I have taught this summer. (Well, really just reinforced since they have seen the strategies during the school year.) Some of these kids could pass if they just put a little effort into it and changed their attitude. I am not giving them things just to waste their time. It is to help them. It makes me sad when they toss helpful tools to the side that could get them to where they need to be.

God must look at me the same way I look at these students sometimes. Here He is seeing more of what I see in my own reality. When I feel defeated, I pout. I quit. I sulk. I rebel. He sees opportunities to stretch me. Chip away at my character. Build strengthen. All for the next task He has for me. I just see the fact that the work is WORK. It's soooooo hard. And I really really really don't want to take the time to do it because it is sooooo time consuming. But HE knows the benefits. He has provided the strategies and tools to help me get where I need to go.

Somedays I just refuse to do the work of going back to the text, finding the paragraph and underlining the answer. I refuse to look at each option and choose the right one...not just the first one I see with One word right.

blah,blah,blah

Today I feel blah...yeah, not too fond of being blah...my innerbeing seems so heavy today...is it the cause of not enough sleep? My body responding to the healthy lunch I actually made and ate??!? Is it the 5th graders who feel so defeated?? Is it using all my energy to pull these kids up in a positive way but keep awful attitudes outside the portable I teach in?? Is it the fact that I am in desperate need of a work out just to feel better?

Maybe I need to get in the habit of going to my little own hide-a-way after summer school...bubble time may have to be scheduled again...

Beware of being photographed

Jolie's First Hand Learning Experience Lesson #1

Do not allow your photograph to be taken on the beach whilest leaping over the seaweed and just letting loose. It will always end up with you looking stupid and then you will be forever be laughed at. It will be used when moments get tense and people desperately need a laugh. It will be used to entertain others over a meal. The story may be accompanied by the real photograph. A whole poster may be created in your honor.

If you are unable to handle this kind of situation, beware when someone has a camera and you feel like cutting loose. Just hold back. Or better yet, throw the camera into the large body of water before you. :0)

So driving back from Galveston, Benjamin and I dove into some conversation that had my mind running a hundred miles a minute. What does it really mean to know God? What does it mean to be free? What does it look like or feel for God to be your Everything? And what does that mean for God to be your all in all?

The more we discussed...okay really I just asked a ton of questions...the more I realized it wasn't really resolved in my inner most being...Ben talked about the frustration of singing all these great things when struggling with knowing Him back a couple years ago...really praising God with just words...lyrics popped in my head...you know the typical ones...

• You're my all in all.
• How great is our God
• Blessed be the name of the Lord
• More than all I want...more than all I need...you are more than enough for me...
• You are amazing, God
• You give and take away. My heart will chose to say, Lord, Blessed be your name.

There are a ton more. But as the lyrics stare at me and the tune bounces in my inner ear...I question if I really believe this. I might today because things are going okay. But how do I react when things don't go my way...jolie's reality is rocked a bit...what do I do? When I have been stripped of things I have known am I singing "You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will chose to say, Lord, Blessed be your name??"

okay, I really don't have to answer that because my huge list of readers consists of 5 of y'all and you know how I react...I have got the 3 year old syndrome sometimes...you know kicking and screaming...usually the same thing over and over..."Why God Why?"...."It's not fair."..."Why do you love so and so more than me?? Look at what you gave them."

Or I might play the victim role..."Man, I just got hit by the bus!! That sucks...THEY suck!!"...Why didn't I get the warning signs??...They purposely threw me under the bus...They just used me...BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...And then when I am singing, I am thinking "Yeah, God is more than enough and boy I feel sorry for so and so when God gets them for what they did to me!!"

Yeah, God doesn't work like that. But as the months of 2006 keep right along passing, I see that experiencing the freedom that can only come from Our Father is so worth searching for. I may not know it to the full extent but I have seen it. I have tasted it. I long for it.

But I seem to get in the way. Trust. To fully rely on someone or something. Who do I trust? Who do you trust? I can give the church answer. I am well skilled in that. But I am not interested in the church answer...it backs me up in to the corner of "which masks can I wear today?!!!" I have a 25 year collection of Jolie Masks. I am finally tired of the effort of putting them on.

So who or what do I really trust today? Myself. My circumstances. People when I like what they say. Where is God, you might ask? Well, He is there somewhere but not #1 on the list...because so far I have been able to control and handle today. But I want Him to be #1 even on days like today. And even just writing that brings a little wild fear of, "Uh-oh! Now that I said that something is going to happen this afternoon!" But that's not how God is.

Sorting the tangled rubber bands one color at a time...knowing full well they effect the wide variety of other colors...

WIG

Jolie

Rubber bands

A mess...that's what I am these days...inside I feel like a big tangled up ball of different colored rubber bands...of course I use the illustration of office supplies because I love office supplies...along with the mess is many side tracks to concentrating on unwrapping each stretchy string...every one of the bands has words of my mass chaos written in a sharpie describing yet another incident I have created or yet to handle...

How many times will I let the band go flying? How many welts will I inflict upon myself before it untangles? How many will I break? How many will be so tangled up that I have to take the scissors to it? How many will I dangerous pull to its maximum capacity without it snapping me in the face or breaking??

Will I choose to see it as an adventure or an obstacle???

Tonight I don't know and that's okay...

Dit-ko on a post I have recently read...

Home

Have you ever felt home but were really so far away from your actual home?? It is an indescribable feeling and if you close your eyes you might just miss it.

So I have been hanging out in Virginia with my dear old friend, Kristen. She is family to me and the closest thing to a sister I will ever know. We are creeping up on 25 years of growing up together. So the time has been good.

Today we traveled about an hour outside of Gainesville to Winchester, VA in the Shenandoh Valley. We were almost to West Virginia. We saw some old civil war battle sites and some old important homes. That is not what was really significant to the day.

It was the fact that we were on an adventure to find a "Virginia is for Lovers" shirt and to drive the apple trail. So we stopped at the visitor center and picked up a shirt (WOO-HOO) and a cd to talk us thru the apple trail.

So after some exploring the old historic town, we set out to conquer the trail with a very tired 2 year old in the back seat. The word of the day was apple...we heard it alot from the whippersnapper strapped in the car seatdecorated with crumbled potato chips, gold fish, and apple cider. Anyways, we were golden for the first 45 minutes. We actually saw the sights that our tour guide "Barry" discussed right when he said it...side note his name was not really "Barry" I just nicknamed him that...if you heard him, you would agree with the name Barry...

So we are seeing the old historic church on the right...and the apple farm on the left...I gave Kristen a high five since we were doing so well...yeah, I should know by now that the minute I congratulate myself too early it is bound to screw up...

So we are winding around these gorgeous hills and admiring God's handiwork and we paused the cd...BIG MISTAKE!! So we kept driving and driving and driving and then in the midst of a one lane bridge on dirt roads with dark clouds luming overhead...we decided we were lost. Somehow we missed rt732...we did 5 u's in 20 minutes...we finally got back on track and caught up with Barry and went about our merry little way...of course we arrived at the Bella Mansion that we talked about all day 30 minutes after it closed...yeah, that's a typical adventure with Jolie...

We didn't finish our tour with Barry...but it didn't matter. Kristen, Carson and I had a fabulous time...I felt content and at home as we laughed at the rather pointless trivia and the sights that passed so quickly by...it is not where or what we were doing...it was the time being with someone I love and knows me...and loves me no matter what...

As I ponder on today, I see God's handiwork of bringing people into my life who see me and love me despite my flaws and in fact laugh at the differences...wow, He really loves me...

wrapped in a whole lot of grace today
Jolie