Not to us

The Cross before me
the world behind
No turning back
Raise the banner high

Not for us but ALL for You!

Not to us but to Your Name be the Glory!
Not to us but to Your Name be the Glory!

-Chris Tomlin

But do I live like this? I struggle. What would it truly look like for me to live with the cross before me and the world behind? Maybe the better question is what if I believed and knew the cross was before me? Would I have trials? Yes. Would I let God handle them the first go around instead of running in place so hard to do it all myself and failing and then turning to my Father exhausted and letting Him deal with it?

Last night in community group someone painted an illustration that just stuck. He described Christ standing before him and looking straight through the sin to see him. Christ was continually drawing him close. Wow! I get so caught up in my own feelings of unworthiness that while Christ is beckoning me closer I turn away in shame. It is as if Christ is gently whispering to me "Come. Find your freedom in Me." He is not going to force me, but desperately wants me...just me...flaws...past experiences...goofiness...all of me. That should be freeing, right? I should stop hesitating and run. Run fast, run hard, run without looking at anything except His eyes.

But today I won't. That makes me sad because I want that. The battle rages on and today I feel like I am losing. Though at some point in this journey, there will be something so sweet and God will be glorified and everything in my being will want to praise Him. That is the light flickering off in the distance.

WIG
JP