Swirling

Today my thoughts are swirling around in my head dying for a way to get. There is sooooo much that it is clogged and hopefully my meager attempt will help ease the mess upstairs...

Exhaustion...I am exhausted. I never seem to stop. Somedays if I stop, I have to think. So I go. I fill my days with things to do, places to be and people to see. Yes, there is nothing wrong with living life....except I don't know how to slow down. If I slow down, my thoughts consume me and I have to deal. I try to avoid that. I try to ignore the storm that is about to hit. I jump in my car and flee as far away as possible knowing full well that it will come...just don't want it to come today.

I want to schedule my thunderstorms. I want to be in control of where I am caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. And if I am not?? Yeah, I throw a tantrum like a toddler. On the outside-maybe I don't yell and scream and throw my self on the ground kicking, but on the inside it is there. More lately, I realize I have to sit outside in the rain and wait til it passes. It will stop eventually. Sometimes I don't even need to stand outside and get drenched...The shelter provided helps me to stay dry. I can watch the chaos from the window and just wait.

Waiting...another word that I am not too keen on the actually meaning. Questions swirl around this word. How long do I wait? Why am I waiting? What am I waiting for? Where is the fine line of waiting and taking action? When will I know to stop waiting? What if I don't wait long enough? Have I waited too long? Waiting...ask any of my friends that actually get in the car with me if I have ever heard of the word.

Ahhh, so much more is swirling...hopefully into some brilliant colorful design...God, turn the chaos into something beautiful...

WIG
Jolie